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Busby retires!

By cochran378

In an announcement that has stunned baseball fans everywhere, Loren Busby has announced his retirement from Ponce Baseball. He is well-known as the ultimate team player capable of playing numerous positions in the field as well as being a dominating pitcher. Busby, who will turn 47 in March, cited the desire to "spend more quality time with his family" in addition to "I'm not getting any younger and the wear and tear is getting worse every year."

Cynics will note that his departure coincides with Roger Clemens recent difficulties and allegations of steroid/HGH usage. Unnamed league sources have wondered for several years about how Busby stays so youthful. "I mean it's not normal for a guy in his mid 40's to be a virtual Adonis - faster, stronger and quicker than anybody else out there. We've all thought for a long time that he has been pumped up." Players on other teams in Ponce were well known to fear his presence on the mound - to the point some players feigned injury to avoid an at bat. Busby declined to comment when asked about this accusation.

Others marveled at his athleticism in the field. A teammate, Bob Cochran, stated, "His graceful play in the outfield was a thing of beauty. The way he would glide effortlessly in the outfield was beyond words." Richie Catlett recalled some of his fondest memories, "Not only did he inspire me with his unequaled athleticism, but he is also - how do I put this - just smarter and funnier than anyone else on team. I'll probably miss his dugout presence the most." Marcus Berry added, "Everything I know about playing first base, I learned from him. He'll always be my hero."

In addition to his amazing fielding skills and pitching abilities, he was probably one of the best base runners in the league. Opposing pitchers knew they had to pitch to him, because walking Busby was pretty much the same as triple. Sam Crowley added, "There's no doubt we'll miss his bat and speed on the bases. No one player will be able to take his place. The best we'll be able to do is to have the whole team come together and perhaps we can all contribute enough extra to diminish his loss."

Steve Miner has been rumored to be the most likely player to take his roster spot. Miner, now 36, is anxious to pitch this year. He said, "Given I have the honor of living next door to Loren, I am smart enough to ask him to train with me regularly. While I think I've improved dramatically, I recognize that Loren has lost more baseball talent over the past few years than I'll ever have in my whole life."

When Mike Carr (shortstop and pitcher) was reached for comment, he indicated he was far too emotional to respond at this time.

Busby has indicated that he would be available to fill in in the event the team doesn't have enough players at any point during the season.

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